Goodbyes Are Never Easy

I have never been one for goodbyes, but to be honest, who really likes to say goodbye?

I’ve been instructed not to talk too much about what is going on here in Honduras, but the news has already hit the international scene from different news sources, so I think I am safe saying that in January all the current volunteers in Honduras are being sent back to the United States, while Peace Corps Honduras makes important decision about their future.

So, that being said, I will be going back to the United States in January. I’m not sure yet of the exact date, but it is looking like the second week. There is still a possibility of returning to Honduras, but the program will probably be very different if that does end up being an option. We all just have to wait it out and see what is decided.

What does this all mean for me. It means that I’m left very sad. It is Christmas time and all I can think of is how I have to say goodbye to all the amazing people that I have grown to love and thought I would be living with and helping for the next year an a half. Trying to explain the citation here in Honduras never goes very well because the people in my site don’t understand the extent of the dangers here in Honduras - to them Mexico and Guatemala are 10 times more “dangerous,” but that just isn’t the case anymore. It is hard being in a small site that is very safe. It is one of those “bad things don’t happen here” situations because for the most part they don’t - bad things only happen in the bigger cities and to the narcos. The people in my site think that us US-ers don’t have to worry because all the violence stays between the narcos, but unfortunately it doesn‘t anymore. So, I am doing my best to explain to them why we have to leave and how I am going to miss them all so much. They all still have a lot of hope that I will be able to return, and I hope they are right!!

In addition to having to say goodbye to all the amazing people in my site, I also have to say goodbye to all the other volunteers - a lot of us have grown to be like a family and a support system for each other. I know that when we all go to the States it will be a lot easier to stay in touch with each other than with our Honduran friends. But, the United States is huge, and we are from all over the place. I’ll be over in Washington, and luckily there are a handful of volunteers from the Pacific Northwest, but then there are others all the way over in Massachusetts, Washington DC, the Carolinas, Wisconsin, Philly, Texas, Utah - we are spread out all over the place, and who knows when we will be able to see each other again. Yes, we can talk online and call, but it is a lot different than just being a bus ride away to spend the weekend together!

I have a lot to take in and a lot to think about over the next two weeks while I’m here in Honduras in limbo, waiting for the random updates from Peace Corps.

To look at the bright side of things - I will always have amazing memories from here in Honduras, I can always come back to visit, and I will be seeing my family soon!

I think the hardest part is going to be saying goodbye to all the kids because they are not going to understand...I don't want them to think I'm leaving them by choice!!!! I've grown to love them all so much!!!!